Above is a visual on how I feel a majority of the time. Defeated, sad, angry, lazy, silly, bored, confused.....etc. A few years ago I lost my mojo, fell into a bottomless pit of self pity, catered to self doubt and have not be able to get back to my kicking ass self. I know what I need to do to feel better but don't do any of it. I decided for umpteenth time, this year it would be different. Yet here it is twenty-six days into 2014, 3rd time trying to blog and I'm still doing the same shit everyday. There are moments I think I can do this (whatever that may be) and then I don't. Which brings alive all the horrible feelings. No one or any amount of medicine, therapy, talking, crying, planning, wishing, blogging is going to change anything. I'm the cure. I'm the only one who can make myself feel better and make my goals a reality. I'm sorry I've wasted so much time moping around. I'm also sorry that years, yes fucking years later I'm still talking about this shit. I would love to say tomorrow will be different but with me, history has a way of repeating itself. Like the good ole Nike slogan "Just Do It." It really is that simple.
I don't want this blog to be about my inconsistencies. So it's time to put an end to this pity party. Later!!
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